I have a bunch of other stuff I want to write about but i’m here and now and have this little poem next to me.  I’m working on a photo book for a friend and when I was taking apart a picture frame thing my mom has for each of my sisters and I for all our school pictures, I found that there were poems or quotes behind each spot.

I believe the true purpose of these quotes was to fill the holes with something remotely interesting until the school picture from that year took place.

But All to say, I find the one behind the senior picture interesting if only for my life and curiousity.  So here we go.

Children Learn What They Live

If a child lives with criticism,
He learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility,
He learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule,
He learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame,
He learns to be guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance,
He learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement,
He learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise,
He learns to appreciate.
If a child lives wtih fairness,
He learns justice.
If a child lives with security,
He learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval,
He learns to like himself.

If a child lives with acceptance and
friendship, he learns to find love in the world.

Author Unknown.

While typing that onto here… It came to me that you sorta have to be given something before you can know how to do it and to give it back.  Sounds like a duh statement, but you have to be truly loved and appreciated in order to truly love.  There’s a Dar Williams song called What do you hear in these sounds (but she sings about therapy)  And there’s a line in it that says

” And when I talk about therapy, I know what people think
That it only makes you selfish and in love with your shrink
But Oh how I loved everybody else
When I finally got to talk so much about myself”

And it’s that give and take sort of thing (although that cliche doesn’t sound appropriate)  You need to be held accountable in order to learn responsibility… and I think this is lost in some high schools and in our society today.  It’s all about mutual love and acceptance that it isn’t mutual at all and all it is is acceptance and not many people are teaching or creating an environment with fairness (and structure) in order to teach justice.  And by fairness it’s not the societal accepting fairness, it’s the “here are the rules, you’re accountable” fairness.

I guess the poem really does speak it best.  if a child lives with encouragement he’ll learn confidence.  you have to give to the child in order to foster this sense of worth, confidence, and value.

Getting fired for something - no hard feelings, it’s understandable (not me, the article) but having the cops show up is completely over the top… welcome to america??

http://www.fleen.com/archives/2007/05/03/breaking-news-3/

http://www.dieselsweeties.com/blog/?p=44

So this great (canadian? or australian) cartoonist has a fun sense of humor.  he did a great series of the alpha bet - and all i could think of when i saw W was

hmm… that’s where america is right now - in the other direction.

http://www.dirtflake.com/?p=342   - check it out.

the other thing i’ll just touch, and add to the post later - I’ve biked… well first

I’ve moved out of my parents house.  I finally live in the city!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and second is that i’ve biked to work 3 times!!  i didn’t after the first two because I had no fenders on my bike and it was wet, and i didn’t get my lights in the mail at that point.  Once i put my fenders on (last thursday) and biked to work on friday… then the temperature actually dropped to winter temperatures and has been super icey and cold out.  So i haven’t biked since.  I suppose it makes sense.  But it’s a step.

I just wanted to write the books i received for christmas.  I’m pumped to read them.

This Organic Life: the confessions of a suburban homemaker
Living more with less
More with Less (cookbook)
The Lost city (i think that’s what it’s called, i ‘ll check when i get home - not my parents home anymore)
The Eastern Tree Guide
and… Building Construction Illustrated.

I look forward to reading these and learning so much more!!

i was hanging out in Boulder Coffee on Alexander St in Rochester NY before a meeting, and some guy did the intrusive-i-want-to-talk-to-strangers thing they do. I remember doing this in college, or the first few soccer practices. You find something small you can make a comment on to get their attention and then you’re in. He did that about computers (i’m on my mac) but I didn’t mind. We started chatting and this man, Neal, has a lot of ideas about how to change Rochester. To work with what it has and focus it so we can inspire ourselves. He wasn’t too crazy and not one of those people that will bulldoze you over to keep talking to someone, anyone.

It was actually pretty cool, and obviously interesting, I love hearing about Rochester and we were on the same side of the fence. He was talking about stuff, that i want to make an analogy for. You know when you see a person, and they’re obviously oblivious to a lot stuff that’s amazing about them, and they’re all down and trying as best they can with their oblivion to fix themselves. They’re brushing their hair, and washing their face and stuff. But you look at them and you see that they were the foundation for so many things outside of themselves, this would give them a confidence, a better posture and a self inspiration to put the sparkle in their eye. and this would help them to brush their hair, AND get a flattering hair cut, and would have them wash their face, and make sure they comfortable with their internal which makes their external shine…. I hope that makes sense.

Rochester NY, we’ve got Kodak (the sadly shrinking yellow box) but it’s still alive! And they fueled the personal camera phenomena that we don’t even blink at anymore. They helped fuel Hollywood (with film) and they helped make Rochester HUGE!! I recently read an article about how there are lots of businesses around Kodak Park, and i can just see it when i drive by Kodak Office downtown, these businesses are suffering. When Kodak was thriving, these businesses thrived because employees had money and hope and would go out and spend the money. one car dealership would sell cars to these employees. and these employees would buy new cars just because they could. (that in itself is pretty messy, but we won’t get into that)

Rochester, NY has Susan B. Anthony. sadly in one of the shady neighborhoods of Rochester now, that neighborhood and larger area used to thrive. **disclaimer** this is nostalgia path. i know that neighborhoods fluctuate and they get better and they get worse, but we also have a certain amount of influence on that… it’s called preservation**** Susan B. Anthony was a major major influence.

Rochester, NY has Xerox. hello?? another major competitor and great influence currently and past on technology. Let’s tap into this. with Kodak shrinking, Xerox is a major employer of Rochester.

Rochester, NY has Fredrick Douglas. another major player in history. We’ve got many famous historical people. I think this could inspire a lot. it could also be really hokey and just a name if used incorrectly.

Rochester NY has amazing progressive institutions. RIT, UofR… and a handful of other colleges.  U of R is always getting lots and lots of press, and they’re doing some really amazing stuff…. or so i’m told :-D  tee hee.

But there’s a lot of history and culture in this town that we need to tap into.  There used to be a subway.  It’s the coolest “black market” place to visit.  and by black market i mean underground.  i take this term and it’s definition from the way we use it in my church.  There are sanctioned small groups, and then there are the organic, outside of the organized structure.  The latter is the “black market” groups.

We’ve got subways, we’ve got a river going through the center of our city, and we’ve got a canal running along the lower portion of the city.

Let’s start using what we have and thinking outside the box.  forget looking into the box and seeing if we can get anything new that is outside of Rochester to inspire us.

This is neither a clear representation of Donald Miller’s work, nar a complete stance or cause one should feel compelled to uphold.
but it struck me right between the eyes.

context:  A running thing in this book is the concept of being in a lifeboat, and the idea that you would have to choose who would be saved and who would have to go over board, ie placing a distinct hierarchical value on each individual person.  And if Jesus was in the lifeboat, that would just look like pilthy little human jocking for something that isn’t even worth anything.  There’s so much outside of the lifeboat, that jocking for a higher value within the lifeboat is being distracted from what really matters.  (I’ve been reading this book slowly, page by page, every few days… don’t take my word on the analogy)

quote: “To be honest, I think most Christians, and this guy was definitely a Christian, want to love people and obey God but feel that have to wage a culture war.  But this isn’t the case at all.  Remember, we are not elbowing for power in the lifeboat.  God’s kingdom isn’t here on earth.  And i believe you will find Jesus in the hearts of even the most militant Christians, moving them to love people, and it is only their egos, and the voice of Satan, that cause them to demean the lost.  What we must do in these instances is listen to our consciences, and allow Scripture to instruct us about morality and methodology, not just morality.
Paul was deceived when he persecuted Christians, thinking he was doing it to serve God, but God went to him, blinded him, and corrected his thinking.  After this, Paul loved the people he had previously  hated; he began to take the message o forgiveness to Jews and to Gentiles, to male and female, to pagans and prostitutes.  At no point does he waste his time lobbying government for a moral agenda.  Nobody in Scripture who knew and followed Jesus wasted their time with any of this; they build the church, they loved people.”
(p.189 Searching for God Knows What)

But another thing that just came to my mind….
I hang out with really cool accepting, loving people.  And the interesting contrast i just came to was this.
–At college, my christian-higher-education-bubble, the biggest Issue, the huge moral dilemma, the weighty divide between students had nothing to do with war, the environment, or anything that is affecting the whole human race.  The biggest Issue i personally came across was the issue of homosexuality.  Across the board.  second place goes to the select groups on campus that gave a hoot about Dafur and the tragedy that has unfolded there.  But across the entire spread of this little-bubble-world, was homosexuality.  The amount of judgment and hate that i felt as a vibe from this was huge, even just in the defensiveness of individuals not being agreed with.   sadly because i was schooled in this environment for some 4 years, i find that that still gets to the higher parts of my “Issues” list.  Whether i’m supporting my friends that are homosexuals, or just trying to make sure a balance is kept in mind when people are talking about it..  it’s still there.  And i’m not saying that it’s something we should ignore.  Resolution is always a good thing.  Lord knows I sure don’t have the answers though..
–But the other side of this coin, Hanging out with the people I hang out with now, I couldn’t tell you their stance on that issue.  I wouldn’t know.  They may care passionately one way or another, but they sure don’t carry it around as a sword, telling everyone about it, and showing it off.  They just go about their days caring for the people around them, and debating issues that actually can come to some resolution and where some personal progress and impact can be seen.  They work on being conscious about the environment and what impact their having on it.  I think it’s awesome.  make progress where you can and continue wrestling with the more “complex” issues.

I don’t intend any of this to put any of you in a box, to speak for you, or to pass judgment.  I might just hang out with a completely different set of people whose “priorities”, if you will, are totally in a different sphere.  *Shrugs*

okay, i’m done stepping on people’s toes.

So three things have happened, and i’ll do you the courteseous of telling them in order.  I will do you the disservice of not fully telling you everything yet.  and all three of these affect me and interact with each other.  it’s kinda cool.  No!  there’s 4 things.  i promise.

1 - I’m getting into a small group at church…. well yes and no.  we’re investigating the possibility of starting a small group of like-minded individuals.  and one guy is really passionate about and concerned about the crisis of community.  and it really interests me as i am getting into the idea of living in the city and getting into a community and other things.  I’m loosing the structure of my idea.  but i will elaborate on this later, that’s the idea.  the point.  So this thing that has happened is the idea of community and the crisis of it.

2 - Next there was a church vision meeting last night.  It was really cool.  a lot of the ideas they were talking about struck a resonating chord in me.  something about having a “city of refuge”  idea was very interesting to me.  I think the biblical reference for this one was… Joshua 21.  I don’t know the full concept of this and haven’t researched it yet.  But one of the lead guys said a story about how when he was little his house was the “safe house” for all his friends and people.  Sometimes his mom would bring home old people and be like, “this is your new grandma this thanksgiving”  but the concept of it was really cool.  basically i want my city house to be a place of welcome and comfort for people.  like if someone from church needs a place to crash for a while, or a friend needs to get out of where ever, or some of my buddies are in between places or jobs or something, I want my home to be a place where people can crash.  and Houses are easier to do that with than apartments.  But that’s my dream.  one of the many.

3-  reading “Searching for God Knows What” -  and there are soo many things about God, and community and the spirit of christ and the idea of loving others that really connects with me and something i want to connect with and fully embrace, because it is the true message of christ.  I will get into this more after i’ve read more of the book.  but it’s really cool.

4 - just found out about a website called freecycle.org.  it’s about trying to keep things out of the land fill. will also get into this more.  boo.

so i suppose for me the bigger issue for me is the urban sphere, the environmental sphere and such, and what our place as humans, our duty, our burden is to these and many other things.  i mean, there’s people out there all over the place with varying degrees of spirituality, faith, ethics, moral codes, values, and societal/cultural rules that they use to function in the world around them.  but what is the burden of our duty to the things around us, the preservation of the urban city, the preservation of the integrity of the communities in the city, the environmental impacts of our city, the environmental impacts of our phsyical presence…

i could go on and on, but i’m just watching people live it out, and questioning it all over the place.  how are we showing love?  how are we showing grace and mercy?  how are we caring for and blessing the things around us?  if this is christianity then so be it.  if this makes me doubt the integrity of the 5% of the obese population?  i apologize.  i’ve got a lot of issues with food.  i apologize for obsessing.  but it’s about balance and the larger issues for me..

So i’ve been sitting on this basically since i wrote the somewhat awful and horribly judgmental post about christians and obesity. i do maintain that about 1% of the time the argument i set forth is applicable. but it is hardly the only issue, a weighty issue, or an important one. I got to thinking about it after church this weekend and Skinny people just get away with more. whether they’re bulimic, anorexic, have major control issues (played out by a crazy over control of food), have addict behavior (like going to the gym too much) or how ever else it manifests itself, it gets hidden. heck, skinny people could have issues that have nothing to do with their weight. it just is able to be hidden because some how indirectly it is condoned by our society.

with that said. about probably a week or two after i posted the initial argument, my pastor got to part 3 or 4 of his sermon series and he spoke about judgment. all the biblical passages referenced here and everything are from him. just want to give credit. Some are just here for aesthetics and others i’ll probably comment on and go into…

Ecclesiastes 12:14 “For God will bring every deed into judgment,
including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil.”

John 5:26″For as the Father has life in himself, so he has granted the Son to have life in himself. 27And he has given him authority to judge because he is the Son of Man. “
these both kick my ass and say, “yo em - stop with the judging. they’re humans like you and it sure isn’t your place by ANY means.”

John 3:16“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,^[a] that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”
(bold and italics added) He didn’t come here with lightening bolts blazing. he didn’t come here to strike shame to the very core of your being and create the turmoil of hypervigilent second guessing and co-dependent behaviors… he came to love the world, to save the world through love. to show how love can save the world. That’s what i’m getting into, figuring out and really starting to see how i can put this into my world. it’s about loving everything around us, humans, situations, houses, environment etc. caring for the world when the world couldn’t care less… that sounds like a slogan. hmmm.. *thinks some more*

1 Corinthians 4“5″Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men’s hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God. “
This is similar to the ecclesisasties verse earlier. For me, it’s difficult to being kept reminded that when i judge stuff, anything, i’m judging the external and there’s sooo much internal and history that brought whatever to the place it is that i have no place to judge. how am i supposed to know the motivation, the alternatives, the history etc?? it’s good to be reminded of it though.

Luke 6:37“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. 38Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (goes on to talk about the log verses the speck in the eye thing.)
this piggy backs the previous verse. take care of your own shit and you will be okay. and what goes around comes around. I feel as though all of my profoundness has slipped away…. boo.

Philippians 2:3″Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” (bold added) that is HUGE!! and soo difficult to grasp and do. Pastor Don was talking about how it’s easy to pick the people you truly think are better than yourself and agree, “yes, they’re better than me” but when you think of someone else (i’ll use his example) of a drug addict, alcoholic gay man with aids laying in the corner of some building. how in the world do you put yourself below them? it’s very easy and “apparent” that you’re better than them by a long shot.  but if you really honestly wiggle down to the core of your being… for me (and my pastor cause he said the story) there’s no way, i’m better than them.  If i went through life as they did, i would be dead now.  I don’t know what got them to where they are, what abuse happened, who abandoned them when, etc.   I would have given up.  And after i go through all those thoughts, all i can say is God bless them and extend much grace.  it’s not my place to judge.  I was thinking about this today.  and i tend to judge people that are better than me also.  and when that’s the case, it’s difficult to say “oh yea, if i was in their shoes, i’d buy $200 outfits.”  I just keep my distance and ask God again, to bless them because i sure as heck can’t.    *sigh*  it’s tough stuff.
(the message) Romans 2: 14-16″When outsiders who have never heard of God’s law follow it more or less by instinct, they confirm its truth by their obedience. They show that God’s law is not something alien, imposed on us from without, but woven into the very fabric of our creation. There is something deep within them that echoes God’s yes and no, right and wrong. Their response to God’s yes and no will become public knowledge on the day God makes his final decision about every man and woman. The Message from God that I proclaim through Jesus Christ takes into account all these differences.”
I believe he had a translation i can’t find.  it’s a great translation of this verse.  all to say i think after this verse he went on to talk about how people can embrace the christian values but discard the religion… i don’t know, i think he actually was talking about another verse.  enjoy this for kicks i guess.

Romans 14:13“Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way. 14As one who is in the Lord Jesus, I am fully convinced that no food^[a] is unclean in itself. But if anyone regards something as unclean, then for him it is unclean. 15If your brother is distressed because of what you eat, you are no longer acting in love. Do not by your eating destroy your brother for whom Christ died. 16Do not allow what you consider good to be spoken of as evil. 17For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, 18because anyone who serves Christ in this way is pleasing to God and approved by men.”
and this one is HUGE too…   I have found this to be true.  an example.  chic flicks actually make me stumble hard core.  and my sister loves them.  but the kindness she has extended to me, she’s actually my watch guard when it comes to these movies.  she lets me know which ones i shouldn’t watch and which ones are good.  it’s a huge bless.

but the kicker, that my pastor didn’t know this verse existed was this one…

John 12:47“As for the person who hears my words but does not keep them, I do not judge him. For I did not come to judge the world, but to save it.” (bold added, these are the words of Jesus)    i will repeat… “as for the person who hears my words but does not keep them, I do not judge him.”  judgment will happen at the end of time, but Jesus is here to save the world, not to judge it.  Wow.  i didn’t know the bible had those words.  *world rocks*

matthew 7:1“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” this one is difficult to fully grasp, but very very ponient.”

thanks for wading through my thoughts and the bible with me.  i hope to keep this near to my heart.  who knows if that’s possible though.  Grace and mercy. i think those are right next to love.  it’s the only way to survive.